Egoistic Hardship

Mann....i'm feeling my lowest low. I think i lost my image. Let me tell you what happened...

Soo there i was with my mum and dad at a nearby coffee shop eating mixed rice. I was told to chop a seat while they ordered the food. I looked around. For a short moment of time, I felt small. Just small. It was weird because i always pictured myself a fancy protector...a lean mean fighting machine...but i felt small. Chinese people were staring at me, like vultures patiently waiting for me to die inside. " DAMN..." i thought to myself. I was hoping that my mum would come soon. Finally the food was delivered promptly. I ate quietly.

Such a short moment of time i felt diminutive already. How was I to face the world when i grow up? There are alot of back-stabbing, good for nothing people waiting to tear me down in the future. Now i truly believe that the world is a nasty place. I never would have thought that i would have to face this problem...but i just realised it. Who would have thought that a person of my calibre would ever think herself as afraid? I never would have but wait... I JUST DID! I'm being demoralised already, by myself.

I think of this as a mid-life crisis phase. I'm even losing my good friend due to bloody study commitments. [Sigh] To top that of IT'S RAINING ACID RAIN. Thanks Sumatra. See what i mean? I complaining about everything! ERRGH! I better end this post before i complain about something else....my hands are hurting...stupid computer...opps...spoke too soon.

Yellow Red Blue folks! How ya been? I know i have not been posting recently soo....TADAAA! I'm here! Yes...i am a daily user of facebook but no, i haven't forgot about you! Missed you.

Soo...let's see here...let's talk about life. How's life? Fine thank you. Any recent news? Yes! I'm glad you asked. I have a new fishie, Freddie. I love him. He's really blue..and...ermm...he's a fighting fish...which doesn't really matter...i hope. How's family? I was just about to ask you the same thing. Family's great...[by great i mean dysfunctional...hehe...don't tell my mummy or Kc...]

Hey..so..this is abrupt but i need to go.. Hope you got enough of info for 1 week or so. Miss ya and see you soon!!

Yep...one picture, a thousand words. It Is the new symbol of Singapore..THE YOG ![as in y.o.g] Yes..in all it's glory..emm..sorry... INTERNATIONAL glory, it waves in the Singaporean wind[which is ,btw , super rare] But how about our National Day? Has everyone forgotten about our most prized day in Singapore?



"Nah...who cares about National Day? YOG better lah! Got Ang moh come to Singapore leh.... National Day where got ang moh? HUH! YOG grand....... somemore school got push back exam mah...? You not happy ah?"

"I guess soo...."

A conversation noted down in my brain as i asked my good friend about YOG and NDP. What did you say? What is YOG? You have to be freaking kidding me.... it's Singapore's new pride and glory.... THE YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES !!!!![ fancy music cue]

"It's the most exciting thing that ever happened to us [ huh?! how about Mas Selamat? And somemore got MRT security kena breach!] and i think we will all benefit from it. [another scheme? CPF? Baby Bonus Plan?] We will be recognised in the world as this is a historic event [founding of Singapore leh?] As we prepare....... BORING!!!!!!

I switched off the TV in a reflective mode. All my thoughts are highligted in italic. Is YOG becoming the new face of Singapore ? Ask around and you'll see that YOG is better known as "ang moh come". Believe me you, i was part of the arrival of the flame [of YOG of course! Have you been sleeping?] and it was really boring... maybe i'll post about it later on. Did you know that today is our National day? Years of hardship faced has narrowed down to today. The pain , tears and sweat put in to make Singapore a modern Metropolis paradise.... and it is being compared to the young YOG?

What are your views of this post?

Well, i know this is kinda abrupt but i have to go or maybe and just too bored , soo bye for now and remember to place comments on my new cBox ! Toodles!

He didn't make it!!!!

Hello. Here i am posting again[for you, aunty baba]. But i'm not being forced to post. I happen to have quite a lot to say. Well as you know the World Cup is on and i have 3 words to say:

LONG LIVE GERMANY!!!!!!!!

Yep, as you guessed the team that i'm supporting is Germany! [Whoop] They rock! No offense, but they will win this thing! Just look at the newspaper.... Germany something, Germany this ,Germany that! They are on fire!!!!! Hope they win! Viva La Germany

So...thanks aunty baba for responding to my post. It really meant alot to me. I guess today i'm feeling better. Most of my major exams are over..[whew!] so now i still have to study for my science exam[oh faeces!] but i'm slacking....i'm enjoying my few last moments of my freedom before studying....again...Mother's day is around the corner and i'd like to wish all[because some people can act like mother figures] a soon-to-come Mother's day!

Talking about mother's day, i'm starting to feel for my dad. God, imagine being without a mother...i know i can't. Usually every mother's day, we would visit my grandma and buy treats and fruits for her. She used to love our company and she provided us with oh-soo-good food. After that,we'll open the tiny cake we bought her and then cut it to share among ourselves and then she will feed me an kc a piece. Sometimes it's hard to accept the fact that she's long gone. Hey, wanna go to grandma's....oh yeah...right...she's gone. The death of my grandma didn't only take a toll on papa but on the whole family. You have to really hold your tongue. My dad's side of the family is tearing apart because of the death.

Today,we are going to the beach where papa threw grandma's ashes[hindu thing, don't ask me] and have a moment of silence. I really don't want to see a grown man cry but if he does, he has us.

I had a friend once who lost her mum. It wasn't really a sad thing because she knew her mum was going to kick the bucket. Soo,when i heard that her mother passed away,papa,mummy and i rushed to go to the funeral that was held near by. When we reached there,we paid our condolences to the immediate family and then went to pay our respects to the deceased. She was calm but i felt scared because it was too silent and i was afraid that she might pop up and grab me. But i watched in agony as i saw Linda cleaning a look through glass panel right on top of her mother's face. She wiped it with her head tilted slightly in sadness. i knew that i had to talk with her. So, we went to the back of the church to talk.[ one thing i learnt that day was that i could not counsel.] But, lucky for me, she didn't need much counselling. She just told what happened and how she felt about the death. I was a good listener but i was no talker. After the funeral, i tried to always look up for linda everytime. She held her feelings in quite well. But when it came to mother's day, she had to cry. Why should papa be any different?

I guess in this post i shared a lot with you. Well, time to stop.

I'll leave you to think about these quotes:

-Death is never an end of an obstacle but at most the beggining of new steps
S.radhakrishnan

-He whom the Gods love dies young
Menander

-Without death , there can be no life
Krishnan Chander

source:phpkb v1.5[professional]

Hello. i know i've been in a hiatus for quite a long time...well because nothing really happened during the past...what...weeks or so? I think its really because none of you are tagging...gets me down. Usually you can tell the writer's feeling when he or she is posting something and you guessed it, mine is not soo good. Maybe it is my school. School is sooooo shitty . Sorry....just had to let it out. Education is soo not cool. Stupid fool that invented education...[assel] Geography sucks.....yep it's soo boring. I feel like sleeping everday. And no, i am not bluffing... i'm really very.very,very boring. My eyes has become half shut because of school..even aunty mon mon notices.. Soo i hope i'm in a better mood when i post but who cares....nobody really reads me...soo bye[hopefully to someone]

Hello ! I know this is totally random but this is my 88th post! WEEEE! 88 now 100 tomorrow! What?! I can't celebrate miny tiny stuff? Your problem lah! Soo, it's my 7th week of school and i must say, i'm adapting to secondary school life.My subjects are great[well to be honest with you, GEOGRAPHY SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yep HATE IT!!!! ]soo far. I even scored the highest in class for science. I know .....Great!
I'm getting use of my sucky @!%@%$$^#%^^^^??<:L:? partner who's pervertness is going down a notch. I've made my friend ties closer and i'm opening up to them...slowly.....



I SOO LOVE MY SCHOOL! IT'S SOO FREAGIN" COOL!


There i said it ok? Happy?
Soo,anyway, i'm thinking of changing my blogskin. Transformers is SOO last season! I know this is a short entry but i promise i'll a longer one after i changed my blogskin,kay? I'll write soon. But for now, toodles!

Hello guys!
This is my second week of secondary school! YAAY! I made it this far. I must admit , however , that i met a few strange characters.[ Mostly freakishly disgusting boys] I mean once this CERTAIN boy said[ i don't intend to disgust you] " WE HAVE BIG BALLS." Errrr......and for a convent girl to hear this kind of thing for the first time.....EWWW!
And it doesn't stop there! I have a flirtatious boy siting next to me. You can imagine......And this is the first time i heard the F-word being used in daily life. Everywhere you turn, there's always F you this ,F you that....MANNN was that weird too! Looking at the more better things in school, i met loads of new friends ! They ,well , are ermm...normal. Don't get me wrong, they are fabulous but ,well ,normal. The kind of friends you usually get[which is great...] but i haven't found a friend that i can trust...yet. My best bud, S ,[i want to keep everybody's name a secret b'cos i have no right to use their names..sorry! ] she's in Normal Academic[ 5 yrs] She's different....she's changed. I mean i have been her friend for 6 years and when you have that kind of long-term friendship thing going on , you tend to critic all NEW friends. I don't mean to be rude, but, i don't like them one bit. Maybe it's just me being all jealous, but that's highly unlikely. I thinks it's my gut feeling. My gut feeling wants me to tell her how i feel about her friends....but i'm worried that i would either hurt her feelings or just make her plain mad. I think her friends are cold-bitting bimbotic heartless creeps with a stupid everything![Maybe that's the jealous ego speaking...sorry...again] What if they betray her? And btw, i had a fair share of betrayal. Eventhough she was the one who so called" betrayed" me, i don't want her to ever feel that much pain. She's like my sister....i'm always there for when she needed me. We also fought like sisters. Should i just leave her alone to live her own life? Well, i suppose i should get to know them better before turning a cold shoulder towards them...maybe...
Don't worry, i'll figure things out. Anyway, Kc has to use the computer so , for now, toddles! And ermm please leave a comment after reading! Thx! Love you guys!

"Someone once told me that you have to choose,
if you win or lose...you can't have everything.
Don't you take chances or you'll feel the pain, don't you love in vain,
'cos love can't set you free."

"Happy" Leona Lewis

Cool song, if you ask me. Well, what's new? What me? Nothing really... bored...once again! I'm thinking of changing my blogskin. Maybe. Just maybe. Really...i have nothing to say... UMMM...
Oh Ya! I got my results of my PSLE thingy...Yaayy...Yep.Well, toodles!

Hello there......What's up?

Today i realised how bad my life sucks...i mean...who has friends who turn their backs on you? I know you guys would say that this is life....well...it's not. It's a nightmare.Horrible, in my opinion...people who who trust soo much and they just...they just "poof" away from you. Gone from your heart. Mannn....i'm sounding emotional.This sucks...this is life...
My friend "A" was my soo called best buddy. Friend "B" was okay i guess...I never thought they would created a force to go against me like that. How would you like it if someone who'd you give your whole life to call you a selfish pig? Hate it? Same here , buddy...My heart is crying. I can't take it anymore...i'm tired of being'"Miss nice friend". I always hate this torture...
I am a very sensitive person. Hurt me and prepare to see me cry. Don't mess with my feelings.